two large dogs have chewed off the testicles of a 6-month-old boy strapped in a baby carrier and left alone in a riverside county apartment.

murrieta police say the 22-year-old mother carrie mckinney had left the baby in the carrier on the floor in her friend’s apartment on saturday. sgt. bob landwehr says the woman left the room when pit bull and pit bull mix attacked the baby, tearing off the infant’s diaper and biting his scrotum.

the mother and friend doug ritchey heard screaming and rescued the baby, who is hospitalized in unknown condition. via

um… OUCH!

10. home alone 2
showerer: uncle frank
sexy rating: a 7 out of 10, it’s higher because incestuous undertones make things sexier
little kevin hears someone in the shower, so naturally, he goes to investigate. eww, it’s uncle frank. not a hot aunt or cousin. but he stays and records it anyway.

9. carrie
showerer: sissy spacek
sexy rating: like a 5. altho her body looks good, she’s sissy spacek and she’s menstruating
carrie’s enjoying a nice hot shower. but then, she gets her period and it totally blows that fun sexy shower scene for us. i don’t want to get into it, but i don’t really think it’s possible to begin your period in the shower. is it? idk. it’s gross, esp when she tries to rub it on all the prettier girls.

8. school ties
showerers: all the young high school boys
sexy rating: 10. i ♥ high school boys.
matt damon and brendan fraser have a naked shower fight because matt damon (i think jew) hates jews and brendan fraser (not jew) is a jew. and then they punch each other a lot and the punching sounds are as loud as their boners are hard. hot!!

7. national lampoon’s vacation
showerer: sexy pinnacle-looked beverly d’angelo
sexy rating: i suppose like a 10?
mrs. chevy chase looking the hottest she could ever look showed her boobs a lot to make the movie even better.

6. wild things
showerer: kevin bacon
sexy rating: 6. i appreciate gratuitous dick shots, but this has just gone too far!
kevin bacon was like “why’s everyone else getting naked and doing each other?! i want in on the action!” so they’re like “ok kevin bacon, you can come out of the shower and just straight up show your penis.” and he was like “DEAL!”

5. captain ron
showerers: martin short and mary kay place
sexy rating: like a 3. i’d prefer captain ron and the daughter in there, but that might just be me.
the couple hasn’t done it for a while, what, with captain ron being around and all. so they decide to get ‘er done in the tiny boat shower. this seems like a bad idea! it’s much too cramped in there to successfully slam. so then the shower breaks and they get everything wet. LOLZ!!!!!

4. starship troopers
showerers: a large portion of the cast
sexy rating: not very sexy. like a 5. but there are some boobz!
paul verhoeven just LOVES coed shower scenes. and i love them when jake busey is involved. because it seems like the perfect time to get to know each other, one dude takes it upon himself to find out why everyone’s here and be all nosey and stuff. but casper doesn’t want to talk about it! because he likes a female! and stuff.

3. dressed to kill
showerer: angie dickinson but mostly a body double
sexy rating: 10! she masturbates AND dies!
girl gets in innocent shower. girl innocently decides to innocently jerk off (with obligatory insert shots). girl innocently GETS TOTALLY MURDERED!!!!!

2. tango and cash
showerers: kurt russell and sly stallone
sexy rating: 8, we see man butt but they’re repeatedly referring to the small sized penises of one another and we never get to see for ourselves.
tango and cash get put in prison, so immediately they must take a man shower. tango sucks in his stomach and cash does all his thinking. and then they make fun of each other’s man parts for not being big or hard enough. because they don’t want to have sex with each other.

1. the stepfather
showerer: jill schoelen
sexy rating: 10! she’s supposed to be like 16 and we get to see everything
my favorite scream queen (and ex-fiancee of brad pitt) decided that in all the horror movies she’d star in, this one would be the one to be naked in. the best part about this scene is that you’d think, in a horror movie, the girl gets in the shower and something bad happens. but not in this movie. she gets in the shower, and then she gets out. and then she puts on some clothes and THEN bad shit happens. we get to enjoy her shower in peace.

*honorable mention: cruel intentions 2
showerers: some sexy twins (?) that talk like they’re ADR’d or mildly retarded
sexy rating: 9.9999999 only because their voices suck so much
in order to like, get sebastian to fuck them, these mystery girls appear in his shower before school and act all sexy and make out with each other. and then they leave and we never see them again. but this will only be honorable because this movie is like really bad. like not even movie quality, altho i tolerated watching it three times.