all you dead poets and standers and deliverers know that there are monotonous classes in movies, and there are rad ones. if i lived in my ideal movie world, this would be my dream schedule of classes.

homeroom with mr. shoop
summer school
watch some texas chainsaw massacre with dean cameron and scope out mr. shoop’s stems in those short shorts? that’s a good way to start the morning.

first period: english
hackers
you write a poem you like on the chalkboard. that’s learning! if matthew lillard isn’t actually in the class, but wants to be, then so do i. it must be a fun class.

second period: american history
fast times at ridgemont high
a nice little morning snack of pizza for the class? yes.

third period: music class
sister act 2: back in the habit
if you wanna be somebody, if you wanna go somewhere, you gotta wake up and pay attention. imagine singing this over and over with whoopi and the fun 90s music gang. that’s one fun music class!

fourth period: physics
nightmare on elm street 4: the dream master
yeah, physics tests suck, but during this one, you get to see the overachiever get the life sucked out of her mouth while getting her face sucked by freddy. that seems entertaining enough. plus she dies!

lunch!
just one of the guys
everyday is a new day for william zabka to bully people around. because the cafeteria is the perfect place to fuck with people. thank god i’d be williams girlfriend and i wouldn’t have to worry about being harassed like all those nerds.

fifth period: speech
airborne
a very important class, here we will stand up in front of the class and talk about ourselves! everyday. not to mention, a (real?) daydream about mitchell in his sexy boxer shorts is real? because all the girls seem to see it, so i guess he really is sitting in class in his boxers. cue the beach boys.

sixth period: art class
ghost world
you can make whatever the fuck art you want and it’ll be fine. you can even bring in found art and that works too.

seventh period: spanish
encino man
this spanish class proves to be very beneficial. what two things should everyone know how to say in spanish? yes. el queso está viejo y pútrido. y donde está el sanitarios? that’s all you need to learn. repeat it over and over and over.

eighth period: home economics
superbad
making tiramisu seems fun, especially with a fun and adorable little asian cooking partner.

ninth period: math
rushmore
whoa, they get to drink tea in math class. yes, i’m on board for afternoon tea sesh.

tenth period: gym
cutting class
i would happily climb ropes and listen to that dipshit gym teacher if i got to be in gym class with brad pitt and donovan leitsch. especially when it’s ok to go murder your gym teacher after class.

detention. duh.
class act
no, just because i chose the black class for detention doesn’t mean it’s racist!

and that’s what i call curriculum! what a blast we had, amiright.