you know, for 4/20 you guys. movies for stoners. or non stoners. i had a scientist smoke pot and watch these movies and then a scientist not smoke pot and watch these movies and now i’m comparing them and stuff. sorry this top 10 might not make sense if you’re not like stoned.

10. book of shadows: blair witch 2
how bad high: it doesn’t make sense!
how bad un-high: wow it’s really bad!
they’re all like horny and curious about witchcraft and bad metal music. and they stay in some house and record each other getting naked and having orgies and being murdered by witch.

9. armageddon
how bad high: the special effects are outstanding!
how bad un-high: aerosmith.
i like when ben affleck plays with animal crackers and even though steven tyler is watching the whole movie while he sings along, he gets to see his daughter liv get banged. and whoa there are famous people all over.

8. it’s pat!
how bad high: not bad, just uncomfortable.
how bad un-high: gut-wrenchingly funny
pat is a chick or a dude and my boner is totally non-existent. that’s a funny androgynous lisp, pat.

7. surf ninjas
how bad high: martial arts and surfing, good.
how bad un-high: yeah, bad.
a gameboy controls what people do and leslie nielson is in it too! that scene when they sing barbara ann, that’s pretty good.

6. look who’s talking now
how bad high: the dogs talk! LOLZ
how bad un-high: almost as good as the second one
they ran out of babies to breed so now it’s onto dogs. those kids are too old to have a celebrity do the voice of them so the celebrities will do the voices of the dogs now. those dogs better fall in love with each other. they do.

5. bicentennial man
how bad high: lots and lots of tears shed
how bad un-high: lots and lots of tears shed
i’ve always wanted to see robin williams in a movie where i didn’t really have to look at him. and here’s my dream movie. and his dream role. a robot with a heart of metal gold.

4. john carpenter’s ghosts of mars
how bad high: scary. as. shit.
how bad un-high: it’s like they took a metal video and made it a movie or something
gd this movie is bad. but like so bad it’s good, right? not sure. maybe it’s just really bad. and ice cube is in it. yay.

3. batman and robin
how bad high: so much fun action, what a pleasure to watch
how bad un-high: this is batman movie?
if you’re brilliant enough to appreciate this movie, then you’re just brilliant.

2. mannequin 2: on the move
how bad high: grade A film
how bad un-high: for sure better than the original
hey, what’s this movie doing on this list? how’s it make it on all the lists?

1. ernest scared stupid
how bad high: i’m frightened, is anyone else?
how bad un-high: ernest is silly
this is by far the best ernest movie. either that’s not saying much, or people would strongly disagree but maybe they just don’t get it.

*honorable mention: student bodies
how bad high: bad bad bad
how bad un-high: bad bad bad
an 80’s slasher with richard belzer? yeah that sounds rad. no it’s not. it’s like really pretty awful. even when you’re stoned.

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