sure, lots of people fall off buildings and die. but nowadays, in delightful movies such as the departed and in bruges, they don’t even show it really. they just show bloody impacts. but these movies were ballsy enuff to shoot the actors really falling! in front of green screens and stuff!
10. cat’s eye
fallen victim: the old guy that was fucking with robert hays
impending death face: hes clearly not ready to cope
duration of descent: 13 seconds
old man mafia locks robert hays on the side of a very tall building, only to have to maneuver his way back inside. but he gets back inside and pwns the old man by giving him a taste of his own medicine! he’s gotta go out on the ledge! and then a pigeon bites his foot so he falls. and he falls foreveeeeerrr!!! sorry, cant find a clip.
9. vanilla sky
fallen victim: tom cruise
impending death face: constipated
duration of descent: a whopping 41 seconds (including sappy slideshow)
tom cruise is gonna jump off the very tall building so he can see penelope cruz in their next life together or something. it appears to be very windy when you fall off a building. and then his weird life flashes before his eyes. he sees records and dogs and betty boop and martin luther king jr. what strange things to flash before your eyes but ok. dead.
heres the scene.8. the lion king
fallen victim: mufasa
impending death face: wow, lions do show fear!
duration of descent: 5 seconds of sad
poor mufasa should have just stayed on the side of the stampede and not climbed up to where his clearly evil brother was waiting to drop him. duh. mufasa was asking for it. but anyway, mufasa screams his guts out as he falls right into the stampede and the scene makes movie history for being just so sad. :(
you can watch it if you dare.7. the hudsucker proxy
fallen victim: mr. hudsucker
impending death face: he seems scared yet stoked
duration of descent: FIFTEEN seconds. thats a long fall.
in an act of self-defenestration (that means jumping out of the window), mr. hudsucker makes a big dramatic deal of running down the board room table out the window. his fall is uncomfortably long. but then the storyline begins!
its at the end of this clip.6. indiana jones and the temple of doom
fallen victim: tons and tons of henchmen!
impending death face: you dont really get to see too many faces
duration of descent: most of them fall for like 7 seconds
falling to your death sucks. but its even worse when you fall into being eaten by alligators! indy jones cuts the rope bridge thing theyre all on and then all these dudes go flying, but luckily data hangs on tight and all the good guys make it through!
watch it here
5. masters of the universe
fallen victim: skeletor
impending death face: his mask face doesnt move but he sure does scream
duration of descent: 18 seconds but it could keep going
skeletor and he-man are fighting and then he-man almost drops his sword down into that doom hole thing but he doesnt and he pushed skeletor down instead! and skeletor screams and screams and screams. who could blame him.
you can see for yourself4. the good son
fallen victim: elijah lucks out and macaulaly goes down
impending death face: he has very little expression for a child about to be dead!
duration of descent: roughly 6-9 seconds
this is maybe the gnarliest of all of the falls because its all the moms fault! she sophie chose elijah wood who isnt even her son over her actual son! to die! whether he’s evil or not, she’s going to have to live with that decision forever and that would be very upsetting. but evil little macaulaly gets what he deserves and dies horribly.
all i could find was this horrible fanmade vid of it.3. the untouchables
fallen victim: frank nitti
impending death face: he is scared SHITLESS man!
duration of descent: 10 seconds, long enough for kevin costner to say something sassy
dude is the first on the list to look like he’s trying to swim the air to resist being dead. but he doesnt resist it, in fact he dies very very hard onto a car in very nice condition. and all the while, kevin costners wondering why he hasnt answered his question mid air. he cant answer you, kevin costner! hes too busy being almost dead in a couple seconds.
this is good, i recommend watching.2. die hard
fallen victim: hans gruber
impending death face: #1 on best dead face
duration of descent: 22 seconds, including slo-mo
hans holds onto mrs mclanes watch about to shoot at them, but then mr mclane gets the watch off and oh no, down hans goes. and he looks VERY upset about this happening, naturally. and then police officer carl winslow looks grossed out. even though hes a cop in los angeles, so youd think he’d see people fall off buildings all the time.
1. cliffhanger
fallen victim: nameless girlfriend of michael rooker
impending death face: shes scared and sad and prob shitting her pants
duration of descent: we see like 20 seconds of fall
ok is this like not the best scene in the history of filmmaking? anyway she does NOT want to die and sly tells her shes NOT GONNA die! but then he lets her die, even after michael rooker and smily ralph waite said not to! us viewers feel so bad because she wasnt even passionate about cliff hanging, and she and michael rooker had dinner plans that night. michael rooker will be eating alone :( or hopefully he’ll invite ralph waite!
*honorable mention: con air
fallen victim: dave chappelle as pinball!
impending death face: quite a funny one altho he’s already dead
duration of descent: 40-45 seconds
con air has to unfortunately just be an honorable mention due to the fact that pinball is dead before his long departure. but its a good fall with great form and he even lands on old people and ruins their freshly waxed car. why do bodies always fall on cars?
watch it here.
my favorite director as of this minute of today is steve miner. i love to make things, drink too much, angrily debate about horror movies, happily discuss full house, and buy home decor and clothing with animals on them. wolves and kittens mostly. i also love thousand island, the movie zapped (and the soundtrack), and keith david. and despite all this, i was really popular in high school!
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Also Ghost Story wich includes some dingle-dangle.
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What about Terminal Velocity! That whole movie is about falling to your death.
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