since its raining today, and people obviously love to discuss how its raining via facebook and what not, its only natural for one to reminisce about the great rain movies of our time, amiright? these movies don’t have time for umbrellas.
10. chasing amy
rainy-ness: it’s pouring!!!
dramatic effect: cliche
so this is the important scene in the movie when he tells the lesbo that he’s in love with her in that long kevin smith thinking he’s a brilliant writer monolouge. and shes like “nah man im gay! fuck you! im offended!” and bolts. BUT, because its raining and chicks loveeeee to make out in the rain, she decides she loves him too. and then they make out as hard as the rain pours down! rain is the ultimate cock-unblocker.
9. hard rain
rainy-ness: the most rain! ever!
dramatic effect: well the plot of the movie relies on it
christian slater has to protect the armored car hes responsible fors money and stuff but the town he lives in is like soooo rainy so he has to close a door to a dam or something before morgan freeman can get to that wet money hes protecting. ultimate rain plot.
8. spiderman
rainy-ness: i guess not enuff rain to wear a bra!
dramatic effect: makeout time again! yay!
although this scene is pretty stupid, kristen dunst has super rain-soaked boobs in it! so here we are. she like gets mugged in the rain and then her nipples get like this and then she makes out with spiderman upside down. its all very rainy, i must say.
7. poltergeist
rainy-ness: torrential downpour!
dramatic effect: when it never rains the whole movie and then it does at the end, it just works!
because of the rain in this movie, all the bodies pop up and then they realize that its all those bodies from the indian burial ground that are making their lives so scary. so i guess they needed for it to rain or else theyd just keep not knowing what the ending of the movie was going to be.
6. say anything…
rainy-ness: i guess it never drizzles in movies.
dramatic effect: he seems sadder because hes wet
john cusack doesnt even care if its raining! hes gonna use that payphone or stand outside in the rain because he wants us audience to know how dark he is. and hes ALWAYS doing that! he stands in the rain in high fidelity, being john malkovich, identity, and this! obvi john cusacks like “oh, is this scene supposed to be serious? ok pour rain on me.”
5. 28 days later
rainy-ness: hard rain is scary rain
dramatic effect: and it helps when you play the score REALLY loud
so it starts to rain and then all the super dramatic violence and shaky camera and loud music and various blood is everywhere. so thank you rain, without you, this ending would have been a lot less artistic and much easier to make out whats happening.
4. back to the future 2
rainy-ness: universal studios rainy!
dramatic effect: crucial to the plot
so if it werent for that lightning, doc wouldnt be sent back to the past and then marty wouldnt be outside when this messenger whos been waiting like 50-100 years to give marty the letter saying that doc is back in the ol’ wild west. if the rain had stopped before marty ran into the telegram guy, it would have been way less important.
3. raising arizona
rainy-ness: its all rainy and muddy! yuck!
dramatic effect: hilarity ensues
john goodman and william forsythe break out of prison and they scream and are covered in mud and keep screaming. i guess in movies, you can’t escape prison unless its raining. it just doesnt work. i think even in tango and cash its raining when they escape? pretty sure thats right.
2. point break
rainy-ness: gnarly rain
dramatic effect: what would have happened had it not rained?
johnny utahs like “go bodhi, go into the ocean because i love you too much to arrest you. and if you surf away then either youll die doing the thing you love most or you wont die”. but yeah, he dies im sure. but at least he gets to die surfing! because he thinks thats the best way.
1. jurassic park
rainy-ness: it rains for quite a bit of time.
dramatic effect: we all know that cup shaking. AHH.
so it’s all because of that stupid rain that like the gates holding the dinosaurs in are broken when it rains or something? good system, jurassic park. so it rains and then the water shakes in the cup and jeff goldblum runs and the car hangs off the cliff and newman dies and this guy is just trying to poop in peace but gets interrupted by the scary dinosaur. and all this in the rain! *update: thats not the plot of jurassic park at all. sorry.
*honorable mentions: shawshank redemption and pleasantville
rainy-ness: 100% rainy
dramatic effect: 100% dramatic
well thats the same thing. but shawshank totes did it better. but look. its the same shot. whether yourre breaking out of prison or your world is becoming not black and white anymore, rain is SERIOUS! and hollywood wants you to know!
my favorite director as of this minute of today is steve miner. i love to make things, drink too much, angrily debate about horror movies, happily discuss full house, and buy home decor and clothing with animals on them. wolves and kittens mostly. i also love thousand island, the movie zapped (and the soundtrack), and keith david. and despite all this, i was really popular in high school!
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